2 Samuel 13
Amnon and Tamar
"After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.”
But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.
19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house."
Pretty crazy story huh. :(
The sins of the fathers was passed down. David was filled with lust and committed adultery with Bathsheba. Then his son was somewhat cursed with a generational curse and committed sexual immortality as well with his sister! So crazy. So sexual abuse and incest has been happening for a very long time. You are not alone. Even King David's own kids committed and were victims to sexual abuse.
What verses are about childhood sexual abuse?
Matthew 18:6
"But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."This is actually for the abuser's own good. I have seen the deterioration of my dad's heart and mind over the years, and living with himself is a greater punishment than capital punishment would have been. In Jewish culture he would have been stoned. But in our culture he was only sentenced to a year in prison and even got out after only 6 months. Pretty crazy. :( Eventually justice will be served but God says, "It is mine to avenge." We are not supposed to try to get revenge in any way on our abuser, God will take care of that. As I said, having to live with himself is punishment enough in some ways. If you have read the book Crime and Punishment it analyzes this concept of guilt over sin really well and how it just seems to eat you alive.
Matthew 25:45
"Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’"One way to see this is when someone abuses a little child, they are abusing Jesus. You don't want to mess with Jesus, God's son lol. God is the defender of those who cannot defend or protect themselves. It is in God's hands. Everyone will have to give an account on judgment day for what they have done, so child abusers will as well. May God's will be done in those situations.
Psalm 82:3
"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute."When children tell their parents or someone in authority about an abuse that person needs to believe them and not dismiss them. Don't assume they are making it up. Really listen to kids. And be an enactor of justice for kids who are abused.
Psalm 9:9
"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble."When I was a kid I ran to God even more due to what happened to me. God was my strong tower. My shelter. My refuge against the storm of my crazy family life.
God is always there to comfort anyone who is oppressed. Amen. :)
Luke 4:18-19
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.” '
Sexual abuse brings on a kind of oppression of the mind. Most victims hate themselves and blame themselves for what happened. It also makes us captives because abuse completely changes how one perceives the world, God, others, and oneself. We become captive to several lies from Satan. But Jesus can set us free from ALL OF THAT. Amen. :)"He who the son sets free is free indeed." woot! lol :)
Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool."
Even if you were somewhat at fault for your abuse, such as if you were older, God forgives everything and anything. There is nothing so big that he cannot forgive it. It depends on the situation. In most cases it is not the fault of the one abused in any way. But in others it would seem they could have gotten out of it; left home if they were older or moved in with a friend. It's hard to tell, there are so many grey areas. It's not black and white of course. But if you do feel any legitimate shame just know God can forgive anything. Don't worry. :)
May God bless you and give you peace. HE LOVES YOU! More than you realize and more than you love yourself. God is with you. :) Amen.
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