On Judging Others

When is it ok to judge others?  When is it not ok to judge others?

First of all, we are never to judge those outside of the church who do not know Christ, even though the church does this ALL the time.  It is very sad how often this happens.  That is why most outside the church hate those inside the church, because of this misplaced judging. :(

 Those outside the church are simply acting out of a spiritual sickness essentially of not knowing Christ.  They cannot be held accountable to their sin really since they only do so because they do not know God nor have the Holy Spirit inside of them.  They cannot help but sin.  They are slaves to sin, as we all were before our new life in Christ.  Paul talks about that in Romans 6.

But those inside the church, who do have the Holy Spirit, we are called to judge, sometimes.

Paul says in 1 Cor. 5, "I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. ¹⁰ Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. ¹¹ But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.  For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside?   But those who are outside God judges."

Paul addresses an issue in the church of Corinth of a man that was sleeping with his step mom.  So he was causing his step mom to commit adultery with him against his dad. 

Paul tells them to expel this immoral brother from the church.  This is referred to as church discipline. 

The Catholic church would carry this out many times in the past and ex-communicate people from the church who were committing serious sins.

But we never ever do this in the church today.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Should we be holding our fellow brother and sisters in Christ more accountable to the word and how Christian are called to live? 

There are also verses telling us not to judge.  "Judge not lest ye be judged." 

So the Bible seems to contradict itself on this topic. 

My conclusion is that in the big things we are to judge someone to call them out on their behavior.  But in small things we are not to judge.

God does not want us to micro-manage people.  No one likes to be micro-managed.  It is not very effective in changing someone's behavior anyways. 

Most wives do not realize this because they micro-manage their husbands all the time.  John Gray refers to it as "the home improvement committee."  Wives, stop doing this to your husbands.  :(  It's not nice. lol 

But when there are big issues in someone's life, we are supposed to say something.  We are supposed to "speak the truth in love" to our brothers or sisters in Christ. 

We cannot ignore the truth.  But we cannot ignore love either. 

Most people tend to be too much on one side or the other.  Either they always speak the truth, but not in a loving way.  Or they always seek to love others but then never speak the truth.  We are called to do both in our relationships with others. 

There is a great book on this topic that I recommend called, "Speaking the Truth in Love."  Check it out. :) 

If someone is doing something that will severely damage their relationship with God or others they need to be helped, corrected etc.

We can't just stand by and do nothing.  That would not really be love.  Friends who really love will want to help their friend who is caught in sin. 

I mean big sins like looking at pornography, adultery, adultery waiting to happen from a friendship, drinking excessively repeatedly, abusing any substance, abusing a child or spouse in any way, extreme greed, any addiction such as shopping, work, exercise etc.

Paul says, "But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person."

This means anyone who is actively committing adultery, actively viewing pornography constantly, actively drinking excessively all the time, actively idolizing something or is mastered by something etc.  Paul says to not even eat with a fellow Christian who says that they are a Christian but is doing any of these things. 
 
We all sin every day and struggle with our flesh.  But some succumb to the flesh more than others, and they need to be corrected.  God calls us to help each other. 

This does not mean be bossy or try to control someone else.  Just say something.  Express your concern.  

If they do not listen to you, it may mean cutting off a friendship.  "One bad apple spoils the whole bunch."  They may infect you with their sin if you are not careful to set boundaries. 

People don't change until something affects them.  They will not change until the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of changing.

Sometimes people will only respond to your silence.  First something needs to be said and then withdrawal is sometimes necessary in order to "save their soul from hell" as Paul would say.  Which suggests that someone can fall from the faith if they are severely caught in a sin.

I have seen it and heard of it many times.  The enigma of someone walking the straight and narrow path for a time and then falling severely.  The prodigal sons and daughters of the church. 

Did they loose their salvation?  Can one who is really saved do things like repeatedly commit adultery or molest children?  I don't think so.  But ultimately only God knows their heart. 

May God gives us wisdom on knowing when to judge and when not to and have grace with others.  Amen. :)

God bless!