On Sexual Abuse

A comment from a friend regarding sexual abuse:

"Imagine having a child yourself.  Would you consider this 3 year old child to be capable of seducing a fully grown man?  This child just wants to be loved - real love - not sickly twisted love.

And yes, this child will want love and will try to be loveable but not to seduce sexually!  This child doesn't desire to be touched in any other way than to be held, to be calmed and to be hugged and fed. And it doesn't desire to be made to touch either.

No matter whether this abuser has themselves been abused and is 'playing out' this abuse themselves. This is no excuse!  There is never an excuse for abuse! 

We have to learn to take the lives we were given and to give ourselves, and our own families, a better experience. The love we should have had."

I couldn't agree more!  And that is the main tactic of abusers, getting others to think the kid seduced them, that the kid wanted it!  My dad even tried to convince my mom that I seduced him as a six year old.  So crazy! :(

I have worked with kids for the last 14 years and kids do not have a single sexual thought until about 12, maybe 10, but definitely not 6. 

That is how the abuser justifies it in their own sick mind, that the kid wants it.  But the reason is they, the abuser, are somewhat crazy.  Their mind is not thinking rationally or logically at all!

My theory is that anyone that would abuse a child is temporarily possessed.  I don't otherwise get how someone could be capable of such evil. 

If you have not heard Joyce Meyer's testimony check it out on youtube.  The stories she tells it seems apparent her dad was possessed.  He would take her to grave yards to have sex with her.  That had to be a work of Satan.  Satan maybe knew that she would become great someday and was trying to take her out.  He was trying to stop her.  So he had her dad rape her for years and years.

It is just crazy the sickness in this world really.  :( 

I joined some sexual abuse survivor groups on Facebook which I think will be very healing. 

One person asked, "If you could see your abuser again what would you ask them?"

Mine would be how on earth did you let your mind slip to such a depraved level?  How did you not realize something was wrong in your thinking and get help?  How did you not talk to my mom about it or a friend and confess your sins to others, the thoughts you were having, before you acted on them?

But most abusers literally still think they didn't do anything wrong.  They still think it made sense what they did.  They literally still think it was the kid's fault for seducing them and not their own.  I'm pretty sure that is still how my dad thinks or else he wouldn't be so cruel to me even to this day.

About two year ago my grandma died and he literally texted me and told me not to come to her funeral.  That if I came I would be walked out.  That doesn't show a lot of repentance does it?  He still must blame me. 

I think partly my mom still blames me too as sad as that is.  I think her mind has not fully seen the truth about it, that I was innocent and it was entirely my dad's fault. 

Abusers are really, really good at getting everyone around them on their side.  They are incredibly deceived and they are masters at incredibly deceiving anyone around them.  It is so sad. :( 

Be on your guard about people that may be abusers.  The best way to tell is if someone is very secretive and they never share things or talk about things.  Sin lives in the shadows.  Sin festers in silence and darkness.  People have to talk about things or sin will just get worse in their lives. 

Make sure the people you are closest with are open and honest with you about everything.  Keep communication lines open at all times to prevent abuse in your own life with anyone you know. 

That is the best preventative measure I think. 

Lots of people are capable of sexually abusing kids.  I even worked with this great Christian guy at a school for a year and even he was accused of molesting a kid.  I guess what happened was a girl who was in 5 grade was in his office and he told her to pull her pants down.  Why?  I have no idea.  Very strange.  But he was super involved in our church and ran the youth group and did a lot of great things.  But he was very secretive.  No one seemed to know the real him.  So you have to be careful when people won't open up. 

Openness is the key.  To defeat any sin in your life.  If you talk about it even with one other person and bring it into the light you will be set free from it a lot easier.  :)  Don't remain silent in your sin.  Talk to someone about it.  Join a group of random people on facebook and talk about things with them.  You will never see them so why not? :)  You have to get things out in the open.  Satan wants to keep us hiding and that is how he gets at us.  Bring things into the light and God can help you. 

Amen. :)  Go share things with someone.  And you will be blessed with peace and wholeness. 

God bless!