Relationships

God wants us to have relationships. He does NOT want us to try and do life alone. God said about Adam, "It is not good for man to be alone." In Ecc. it says, "Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up." Also, "Two are better than one, for they have a better return for their labor."

God created us to live in community. Think about it, God himself lives in relationship with himself. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are always hanging out 24/7. :) They are talking non-stop with each other. We as humans were made in God's image. Therefore, we are meant to be in relationships just as much as God is in relationship with Himself.

In the sermon at The Cause church this morning the pastor pointed out that success in relationships is NOT a matter of chance as our culture likes to think. One does not "fall" in love. One chooses to love or chooses not to love. To love others is a deliberate choice on our part. Marriages do not just fall apart; people consciously decide to stop trying to love the other. It is not by chance that love fades; it's that people stop putting the effort into the relationship.

The pastor pointed out that, contrary to the movie Jerry Maguire, people cannot complete us. Only God alone can complete us. He is the only thing that will ultimately fulfill us. Anything else will disappoint us or come short of what we need. God alone can fill all of our needs, and we need to constantly remind ourselves of this, because we create idols all the time, don't we? Idols are anything we seek to meet our needs that is not God. It is anything that we seek to fulfill us apart from God.

On the other extreme, another common myth, primarily in America, is "I can go it alone. I can make it on my own. I don't need anyone else thank you." But "no man is an island." No one can function well on their own. We need God and we need others. Period. It is when prisoners are put in isolation that they begin to go crazy. Why? Because we absolutely need other people. We primarily need God, and secondarily we need other human beings.

The pastor pointed out today that we are already relationally bankrupt if we refuse to face rejection and so don't reach out to others. When we run from relationships and isolate because we are afraid of getting hurt or rejected, we are only hurting ourselves. Even Jesus could not do His ministry by himself. I had never thought of this before, but why else did he call the 12 disciples? To be an example to us; to show us that we need people around us too if we're gonna make life work. We can't isolate and expect God to fulfill all that He wants to through us. It is when we are in relationships that God can accomplish His greatest work in our lives and through our lives.

Our pastor also pointed out that love is indeed very risky. Love does hurt. The greater the love, the more the risk of hurt. When you really, really love someone, that person has the potential to hurt you more than anyone else in the world. That is a scary power to give someone indeed. But God did it with us. He took a huge risk in loving mankind, knowing that we would be "unfaithful" time and time again and run to idols instead of Him. We are called to risk and love others as well.

God loved/loves humanity an insane amount and experiences painful rejection from us alllll the time. We are supposed to take the risk of love just as God does 24/7 with us. We are called by Him to love something outside of ourselves and invest in other people. We are called to depend on people, even though they will let us down. We are called to open up our heart to others, even though they WILL hurt us, guaranteed.

Yes we are to "guard our hearts" but that means we need to put up a fence and let good things in and keep bad things out. It does NOT mean erecting walls around your heart so that no one can get in to hurt you ever again because you have been hurt so many times before.

But how many of us do this ALL the time? Especially after someone really, really hurts us. We withdraw into a castle for a time and pull up the bridge. We put up the sign, "No people allowed." We isolate. We become callous and hard.

I know I have done this many times in my own life. But what does God say to us in this state? "Come out from hiding. I have plans for you that will blow your mind. But you have to trust me. You have to come out into the real world so I can use you. Follow me and I will make you a fisher of men."

I was especially tempted to stay in a castle and erect huge stone walls after the death of someone very close to me 6 months ago. I think I still have some anger at God that He would let that happen. I know He did not necessarily want it to happen, but He still allowed it.

However, no matter how much life tries to knock us down, God calls us to get back up on our feet. Get off the bench. Get back in the game. Your life is not over. My life is not over. God still has great things for us. Things beyond our imagination, beyond our wildest dreams. We just have to trust Him, and believe that He is not against us, He is for us. Amen?

So will you come out of our stone castle and follow Jesus? He is calling you out. May we take up our cross every day and follow Him, wherever He wants to lead us, even when it's not easy.

God bless you!