Relational Skills

What skills are important to have in relationships?  How does one have successful relationships?

One skill that we need is to follow the golden rule when interacting with others: "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you."

I grew up hearing this verse from my dad over and over, ironically. It was cemented into my mind from an early age. He was big on teaching us courtesy and manners; to say please and thank you, to be grateful etc.

Have you ever thought how you would want others to treat you?

Some basic things we want is for people to be nice to us.

We also want people to try to understand our situation. We want them to really listen to us. We want them to empathize with us.

We want people to not just assume things about us.

We want people to be quick to forgive and offer grace and slow to condemn or judge us.

So then why do we judge others? Why are we unkind to others?

Sometimes it is because they were unkind to us, so we want to get revenge. We want to hurt them the way they hurt us. We want them to feel the pain that we felt.

But God has given us as Christians the gift of forgiveness, so that we can stop the cycle.

In the end, it only will hurt us if we continue the cycle of revenge.

So treat others as you want them to treat you, and that will generally be what happens.

We reap what we sow. 


It is also crucial to confront someone sooner rather than later when they hurt us.  Why?  Because the longer we don't say anything, the more we give bitterness a chance to take root in us toward that others person.

We are to speak the truth to each other.  We are not to be fake and pretend everything is fine when it's not.   

"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

If you delay in confronting someone then you are sinning just as much as they did in hurting you.  Why?  Because you are then living a lie.

You have to be honest with people about how you feel towards them.  Don't avoid conflict, because in trying to run away from anger you may actually cause more anger, in yourself.

Anger is a signal that you need to say something, you need to confront someone about something.

If you try to repress your anger, you actually might have physical side effects as a result, such as headaches, nausea etc. 


We also need to have healthy boundaries with others.  We are responsible to others but not FOR them. 

We are responsible to treat them with courtesy, but we do not have to fix all their problems. 

We need to set limits on people.  Not all people are to be trusted. 

We are to recognize which people are worthy to be in our inner circle and which ones are not.


If we can master these three things, life and relationships will be a lot easier for us; courtesy, knowing how to confront, and boundaries.


God bless :)