Loyalty and Freedom

I believe the two most important components for a relationship are loyalty and freedom. Love cannot grow in a relationship unless there is loyalty and freedom.

If you do not have loyalty, there is no relationship.

Likewise, if you do not have freedom, there is no love. Love gives the beloved freedom to grow and be and do whatever they want. Love does not seek to change the other. Love does not seek to hold them down against their will. Love gives freedom.

If there is not freedom, then there is control. Control is the opposite of love. Love cannot grow in a controlling environment.

The problem is that in many relationships, one person is not loyal which causes the other one to become controlling. At that point, the relationship is over emotionally. It should be ended.

But people seek to hold on to it past when it should be held onto and they kill love more and more everyday with control which leads to more disloyalty which leads to more control.

In the book "Love and Respect" the author would call this "the crazy cycle." There are many crazy cycles in relationships, that if one simply stopped doing the crazy behavior, whether it be controlling or dishonesty, the other would also stop. And like the clouds breaking after a storm, the sun would come out, and there would be peace and balance again.

Everyday we have to make a choice if we are going to try to control people or love them. You cannot do both at the same time.

Love needs freedom to grow. Scripture says, "Perfect love casts out all fear." For love to grow, one needs to not be afraid of punishment etc.

There is also the phrase, "When you love something, let it go."

As long as we try to hold on to something, it will only cause that thing to weaken. It is in freedom and opening things up to roam free that they can grow.

Jesus said, "Whoever wants to save his life will loose it but whoever looses his life for my sake will find it."

We are to hold everything in our lives with an open hand. We never know when God will take them, and we have no control over that. If we hold things loosely, then when they are lost it will not devastate us. Jesus has to stay at the center, because He is always faithful and He is not going anywhere. Anything else good in our lives in a temporary bonus. You never know when that person will be gone. You never know when that job will be over. If we put stock in anything in this life we are only then giving it the power to disappoint us.

God alone deserves our complete trust and our complete faith.

When we put faith in other people, it should be that we put faith in God's spirit who is in them, not in the person themselves.

When we put faith in our jobs to provide for us, it should be that we put faith in God giving us the ability to do that job, not in the job itself. Any job we have is from God. He gives us everything. When we loose sight of that we start to have idols. It is not you who has blessed yourself. It is GOD who has blessed you. Never forget that.

If you need it, God will provide it for you.

If you don't need it, you won't have it or get it.

God knows what we need and when we need it. Trust him with your life, your job, your relationships, etc. And remember, ANYTHING good in your life is from Him!

Amen? Amen!

So thank God for anything good in your life today! And remember that He is the source of all that is good in your life! :)

God bless!