Marriage Tips

 

60 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ROCK!

(I have been thinking that if I did write a book someday, I would want to write it on the topic of marriage and how to have a successful marriage; how to be best friends with your spouse.  So many couples drift apart and become strangers really because they don't spend time together.  Here are some good tips on how to have a better marriage.)

 

 1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS

 

Ben and I pray together a lot, especially if we're stressed about something.  It very much helps to release your cares to God together and to ask for His leading in everything. 

 

 2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS

 

We need to be better about this. :)

 3. Go on regular date nights...

 

We go out to eat almost every night which is nice. :)  Doing the Chili's or Applebee's 2 for 20 keeps it from being too expensive. :)  Sometimes we go to the movies but it's hard to find things that are ok to watch.  And there's a lake we like to walk around together and talk.

 4. Hide notes in secret places

 

We have not done this, but it sounds interesting. :)

 5. Go to bed at the same time

 

Yes this one is good, so you can talk as you fall asleep, and of course cuddle. :)

 6. Listen to music together

 

I would add, especially worship music.  Worship together and think about how awesome God is together through music.  Or listen to love songs together.  I love the love songs by Bryan Adams.  :)  And sing the love songs to each other.  There is nothing more romantic than that. :)

 7. Buy him/her gifts they will love

 

I tend to mostly buy shirts and clothes for Ben.  They are just as much for me though as him because I like how they look on him.  :)  He gets pretty excited about candy like m and m's so sometimes I will get those just to say I was thinking of you.  And I love it when he buys me stuffed animals.  I don't care about flowers as much because I literally am always sad for them when they die lol.  I don't care much about chocolate because I know it's bad for my teeth etc.  But stuffed animals are always a good gift. :)

 8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates

 

I suppose dancing would fit in this category.  Yes I have been wanting to go line dancing with Ben for awhile.  Eventually we will. :)

 9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse

 

I have never seen one of these but that is a good idea.  I would add to that and say dress modestly.  I don't understand when wives dress immodestly when they are married.  I would think that would dishonor their husband.  We want to look attractive to our husband but modest to other men, which can be a hard balance. 

 10. Praise your spouse to other people

 

This one is key.  It is easy sometimes to vent about things they may do to friends, but try not to.  This will distort your own view of them.  Try to only speak of the good things about your spouse to other people.  And NEVER vent about your spouse to someone of the opposite sex.  That is a sure way to start an affair without even meaning to.  Be very careful what you say and to whom you say it. 

 11. Read a marriage devotional

 

This one is good.  I recommend the Love Dare.  That one will help you think about how to love better a lot. :)

 12. Sleep in his t-shirts :)

 13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories

 

This is important.  Remind each other that you only have eyes for your spouse and you are there to stay. 

 14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly :)

 15. Go away together at least once a year

 

I heard this once in a sermon at Mariners.  Kenton said at least once a week go out to eat with your spouse and at least once a year take a week vacation just the two of you if you can.  Cruises are the most economical way to do that. 

 For Women Only

 16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house

 

This is good so you can remember the love you have for each other.  A picture is worth a thousand words.  Pictures help you remember the good times as well. :)

 17. Make his favorite dessert

 

hm....I try to stay away from sweets. :)  But sometimes we go get ice cream together which is always fun.

 18. Make sex a priority

 

This is probably a number one reason marriages fade.  Wives do not realize how important this is to their husband, emotionally and physically.  Women need conversation and men need sex just as much.  When wives deprive their husband that is when affairs are more likely to happen. 

 19. Spend time apart occasionally

 

It is good to do some things separately.  Granted work separates couples a lot already.  But on the weekends, it is good to have some things that you do apart.  Don't stifle each other.  Give each other freedom to hang out with friends or do things that are relaxing.  You don't have to spend 24/7 together, but don't spend all your time out either.  Balance is key.  :)

 20. Learn to enjoy something he loves

 

For instance, most wives learn to enjoy whatever sport their husband likes.  My mom has grown to love baseball and she watches the Angels with my step-dad a lot.  I have enjoyed watching football a bit with Ben.  :)  I know Ben loves fishing, but that's not really something I can get into, so that's an apart activity. :)  We both love bike riding and swimming.

 21. Surprise each other

 

Gifts and cards are the best way to surprise each other.  It is nice to get unexpected things from each other for no reason other than that they love you. :)

 22. Meet him at the door

 

Anytime I have not done this I felt bad lol.  It is good to greet your husband; stop what you are doing and give him a hug when he first walks in.  It shows that you are happy to see him and it starts your time together well.  He wants to feel like you are happy that he is home. 

 23. Text each other from across the room

 

This is a good way to show that even if you are apart for a moment you are still thinking of each other.  Texting throughout the day is key too so you always keep in contact. 

 24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week :)

 25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him 

 

Men's number one emotional need is to feel appreciated.  Women want to feel special and loved and men want to feel appreciated.  He is doing most of the things he does for you so he wants to know that it matters. :)  He wants to know that he makes a difference in your life, so tell him. :)

 For Men Only

 26. Leave work on time and come home early

 

Staying at work later than you need to sends a huge message that you care about work more than your spouse.  So yes, try to not spend too much time at work. 

 27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation

 

Conversation is just as important to a woman as sex is to a man.  Talking is sex for a woman essentially.  So talk to her as much as you can and think of things to talk to her about. 

 28. Compliment each other

 

About appearances, about character qualities, anything and everything.  Don't stop flirting with each other just because you are married and you already got your spouse.  Constantly pursue them and love them.  Tell her she's beautiful.  She really needs to hear that.  Tell him he's handsome and what you like about him. :)

 29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus

 

Well it would be ideal if you could do this every day. :)  Whenever you are together make that person your total focus.  But it is good to have a day off and only do things with your spouse.  Go without your phone for a day and only focus on them. 

 30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”

 

Yes and avoid bringing up the past.  The past is the past and you can do nothing about it.  Arguing should be so that things can get better in the future.  Focusing on the past will only discourage each other.  Talk about what you want to see different and give tangible advice on how they can be better in a certain area without being discouraging. 

31. Kiss every day

 

This is important. :)  And hug every day. :)

 32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining

 

Such as taking out the trash or doing the dishes.  Doing laundry.  etc.

 33. Forgive quickly

 

The best advice I've heard about marriage is you need to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  That came from our maintenance man at our last complex lol.  Don't hold onto grudges too long.  That will turn your love cold.  Move on and forget about things that they've done wrong.  It helps to remember things that you have done wrong as well so that you are not always pointing the finger at your spouse. 

 34. Be honest.

 

There is nothing more important in a relationship than honesty in my opinion.  My pet peeve is someone lying to me about anything, no matter how small it is.  Always be totally honest in everything you say.  Remember, Satan is the father of all lies, so lying opens a door to Satan really.  Never lie about anything if you want to have a happy and successful marriage.

 35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together

 

Agree about what you think is worth money and what is not.  Ben and I are agreed that eating out is worth the money, but buying clothes too much is not.  We now think cruises are worth the money so we plan to go on more of those.  Neither of us really buy much that is extra beyond food so that is good. :)

 36. Look your best as often as you can

 

Try to always look attractive to your spouse.  Shower, stay clean, brush your teeth. :)  It's all in the little things. :)  Try to match your clothes etc.

 37. Guard your marriage

 

The most important way to do this is DON'T have close friends of the opposite sex.  You are just asking for trouble if you do that.  It doesn't really matter the age of the friend, just don't do it.  It opens a door to Satan to mess with your spouse or make things look they are something when they are not.  The only person of the opposite sex you should be having long conversations with is your spouse, no one else.  If more people would abide by this rule, affairs wouldn't happen.  Generally, men and women can't be just friends. 

 38. Laugh together

 

Watching funny movies together is good.  But be careful on how clean the movie is.  Sadly most comedies have some vulgar parts.  Doing silly voices together is a good way to laugh together.  :)

 39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)

 

There is nothing more insulting then ignoring the person you are with and being on your phone.  If you must do something on your phone, step out of the room.  Phones are great for when we are alone to have something to do, but don't let it interrupt the time with your spouse. 

 40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it

 

This will go a long way.  Women often struggle with insecurities regarding their appearance.  They need to hear from their husband all the time that they think they are attractive.  Nothing will make her love you more than you telling her she's pretty. :)

 Both

 41. Make each other breakfast in bed

 

Or stay in bed long into the morning with each other instead of jumping out of bed and rushing off somewhere.  It's nice to have time in the morning when you can to just talk and cuddle and plan your day together.  :)

 42. Do her chores for her

 

Anytime Ben takes out the trash I am eternally grateful lol.  I hate taking the trash out.  Anytime he carries our laundry some place far I am extremely grateful also.  Dishes are usually a woman thing because we like to put them back in a certain way, so men don't usually need to worry about that. :)  Making the bed is huge if you wake up at a different time.  When the bed is not made it makes the whole house look messy in my opinion.  And generally not leaving messes around the house will create a happier home and show your spouse respect and that you honor their living space as well. :)

 44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately

 

Massages are nice.  Nothing says I love you from a husband more than a massage to his wife, especially if her neck is tense from being around the kids all day. :)  

 44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids

 

Nothing creates joy better than dancing.  Dancing to love songs or dancing to fun music.  It's good exercise and it's fun to laugh at the silly moves your spouse might come up with.  Dancing is a great way to have fun together. :)

 45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc

 

My mom has always said what men need most is an exercise partner.  Bike riding is not as strenuous as say running, so try that.  Ben and I like to go swimming.  I have always been quite a fish and love pools.  Hiking is fun, especially in new and different areas. 

 46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse

 

Yes being patient can go along way.  Say they forget things a lot, give them grace. :)  Don't criticize them for their unintentional flaws.  They aren't doing things on purpose even if you think they are.  Grace and patience are key. :)

 47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture

 

Being thankful is key.  Say thank you every time they take you out to eat or open your car door or for anything they do.  Everyone wants to feel appreciated.  :)  Plus the more appreciative you are, the more likely they are to do things for you. :)

 48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes

 

As cheesy as this sounds, this is a good way to bond more with each other. :)  I have realized most how much my husband cares about me when he does this; when I can see his love for me in his eyes. :)

 49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc

 

I doubt many men or really women would want to take a cooking class.  But learn a new sport together.  Or read a book together and learn things that way.  I like to read aloud to Ben from spiritual books that I'm reading. :)  Listen to sermon together or watch a documentary together. 

 50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall

 

This is always nice when Ben does this.  It's a nice way to publically say how much you care about your spouse. :)

 51. Support each other’s goals

 

Recently I have been very supportive of Ben's goals.  He wanted to get a CDL license and move to Texas so he could drive and make a lot, so we did.  He very much wanted to be a father and he will be soon. :)  And my goal was to be a parent soon as well. :)  We both have the goal of traveling more before the baby comes so hopefully we will get to do that also.

 52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)

 

Flowers can be nice.  Lilies are the best I think.  Don't always get the same kind, mix it up.  And don't always get the same gift.  It's good to be random about gifts.  :)

 53. Wear something your spouse loves

 

I often pick out outfits that I want Ben to wear. :)  Matching clothes are very important to me lol.  And he likes a certain dress on me so I wear that for him sometimes. 

 54. Share furniture

 

We like to sit in the same booth when we go out to eat so we are closer to each other. :)

 55. Fight for your marriage

 

Don't be lazy about your marriage.  Remember, your marriage is really your part time job.  It takes work.  You can't expect it be successful on it's own.  Love is not all you need.  You need to make an effort to talk to each other and spend time together as well. 

 56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.

 

Eating together is important.  In the Bible the disciples often broke bread together.  You become most united with those that you eat with. 

 57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.

 

Nothing should be your number one priority over your spouse.  Your spouse needs to always be number one.  There is a tendency for men to make work number one and women to make their kids number one.  But that is not good.  The marriage needs to be number one, always. 

 58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!

 

This is key.  You don't really know a person until you know what their dreams are.  Be supportive of each other's dreams.  Often a man will stop sharing his dreams with his wife is she is critical of them.  Don't be critical.  Be encouraging.  :)

 59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world."

 

Try to have the same views about everything.  If you don't, you will be divided.  However, there are some things you will never agree about simply because you aren't the same person.  Agree to disagree and keep peace. 

 60. Speak well of your spouse.

 

Try to never speak negatively about them unless you are just trying to get advice on how to help them.  Don't defame their character to others.  They don't deserve that.  They are trying their best.  Forgive them of their faults and try to focus on their strengths.  Always believe they have good intentions.  That is the most important thing. :)

 Remember your Spouse Rocks- Even when they don’t at the moment!

 

May God bless you and increase your, and my :) wisdom in marriage.  Amen! :)