From a Young Mother

This is pretty funny but also informative of what my future may look like lol :) (written by someone on Facebook)

 

TO: My Husband From: Your Stay at Home Wife/Mom

 

I often hear young moms complaining about their needs not being met.  About things they wish they had, wish they received, wished their husbands did…  And I realized…  not all husbands “get it.”  Some take longer to learn their wives than others.  And some wives don’t help the situation at all.  We play games.  We expect much but express little.  Today, I felt compelled to write a letter.  On behalf of stay at home moms.  If you've never said it.  Or he's never "gotten it."  I hope this helps.  


To: My Husband.
From: Your Stay at Home Wife/Mom.


I used to think it would be so romantic if you just knew me so well, that you knew exactly what I needed.  I would never have to verbally share with you my needs because if you really loved me, you would know what they were, even before I did.  You, my love, were to be nothing less than a mind reader. It sounded fabulous and romantic.   However, we’ve been married awhile now. And reality has set in.  You are an amazing man.  An incredible husband.  But I must tell you: You are horrible at mind reading.  And it’s not your fault.  I now get it.  It’s physically impossible. There’s nothing you can do to acquire this superpower that I wish you possessed.   So today, I am declaring that I am letting you off the hook.  No more guessing.  No more expectations unmet.  Today, I lay it out.  I’m giving you a peek into me.  But once you know, you are responsible for that knowledge.  No more playing dumb.  No more acting clueless.  You can choose to stop reading here if you enjoy the guessing game.  Ah, you’re still reading?  Awesome.  I love that about you.  You’re IN.  I knew it. 


Ok wait.  Before I express my needs, let me explain something that might be difficult to understand: 
I love our kids.  I love my role as a mom.  But honestly?  It’s tough.  And here’s the tricky part – those 2 things DO co-exist.  One doesn’t trump the other or cancel it out. I love it - And I’m tired. It’s an honor – But it’s exhaustingly hard work.  I’m fulfilled - And I’m drained.  Get it?  Me either.  It’s tricky and complex.  But it’s called Motherhood and I’m in the thick of it.  OK, so in light of that, here’s what I need.  Or want.  TomAto….TomAHto. Here’s the reality in no particular order…. 


1) I need to refuel.  And it’s not by grocery shopping with only 1 kid instead of all 3.  I need to get out of the house.  Alone.  I need to ride in my car and listen to adult music.  I want to use the public restroom in the small stall. The one without the changing station.  Alone.  I don’t need extravagance.  [I mean, I won’t turn down extravagance, of course.  But I don’t need it.] ;) You know what I’d love?  To wander the isles of Target for an hour.  Or to sit at Starbucks alone for 30 minutes.  Or to walk in a shopping mall without pushing a stroller.  It really is that easy.  Will I come back completely changed and ready to conquer the world? Honestly?  Sometimes yes.  But mostly, no.  But what I WILL come back with, is a little more life in me.  I will have a spring in my step.  It’s a little shot in the arm.  I reeeeallly need this.  When you ask if I want it, and I say, “I’m OK.”  I need you to tell me to go anyway. 
 
2) Please don’t call and ask what’s for dinner.  If anything, call and ask, “Do we have dinner plans?  If not, can I stop by the store and pick anything up?”  I love you.  And I love providing nourishment for our family.  But when I have spit up running down into my bra and a toddler who just learned to take off his own dirty diaper, The Call adds that little extra pressure in my day that just makes me want to accidentally change the locks on the front door.   


3) When I take the kids to the pool, please know that I didn’t spend the day poolside with a cocktail.  Sometimes I feel like that’s how you view the life of a stay at home mom.  In reality, every 2 minutes, I’m doing roll call to make sure everyone is above water.  “1..2..3..…1…2…3…” over and over and over and over.  I’m changing poopy swim diapers on hot concrete and peeling wet swimsuits off tiny bodies because they have to go potty AGAIN.  I’m schlepping towels and sunblock and swimming goggles and dive toys and flippers and water shoes and cover ups and diapers and wipes and snacks and drinks.  I have one child who has no fear of water and is jumping into areas he’s not allowed to, and another child who’s deathly afraid of the water and is leaving claw marks in my arm.  Blood has been drawn.  A walk in the park is not a walk in the park.  It’s chasing, and counting, and disciplining and refereeing.. A day at the pool is all of that, in a big hole of water.  Attempting to avoid death.  For real.


4) I’ve been nursing a baby all day long.  My “nursers” are over stimulated.  The last thing I desire when you get home from work, is to have one more person perusing the “food court.”  Those are not yours right now.  They are on loan to the person they were actually created for.   Your time will come.  It’s just not today.  If you will understand this and not let it become a point of tension, I’m certain you’ll get extra rewards in heaven. 


5) However, when we’re home and you walk by me in the kitchen and grab my butt, and I swat you away, I don’t mean it.  I secretly love that you still want to be playful and frisky.  The timing may not be right, or I just don’t know what to do with your playfulness because my brain is counting the number of loads of laundry waiting for me.  But please don’t stop.  I need to know you still like me.  I understand this is confusing in light of the point above.  I can’t explain everything.  I’m just informing.  I’m complex likethat. 


6) I need a Girls Night Out every once in awhile.  While we both know you rock, I  need some time with girlfriends as well.  Unless, of course, you would like to discuss bikini waxing, my period and the latest fashion trends with me.  No?  Cool. Girl’s Night Out it is.


7) I need non-sexual touch.  I know you don’t quite understand what that is.  Just pretend it’s valuable and possible.  The grabbing mentioned above is fun and all, but sometimes I just want to feel your arm on my shoulder, without it slowly moving a few inches south.  I need your physical affection without motive.  I need to know that you like to just be with me. 


8) When you walk in the door, let’s make a deal:  You won’t walk straight to the family room and collapse on the couch with the remote… And I won’t greet you at the door with all 5 kids, dump them on you and clock out.  When you come home from work, let’s do it together. Share the load.  If you need to decompress from your day at work, please take the long way home.  Drive around the block a few extra times if you need to.  Just don’t walk in and disconnect.  You are my Knight.  I love knowing you’re coming home.  I can’t feel like I have another child to care for when you walk in the door from work.  I need my partner.  My teammate.


9) That trip we took with the kids was awesome. We created family memories.  We had fun.  But that’s exactly what it was – a “trip.”  I now need a “vacation.”  A vacation is like a trip.  Just without the diapers and wipes and baby food and high chairs and primary color toys.  Oh, and without the tiny humans that come with those things.  Don’t get me wrong, I love those tiny humans. But a break to refuel, refresh, clear my mind, etc..is invaluable.  I have no way to explain what a true vacation will do to me. Other than to say hotel room sex is fabulous.  The end. 


10) When you come home to a clean house, be assured it didn’t look like that hours earlier. There were crackers smashed on the floor, toys everywhere, food smeared on walls, 8 outfit changes from our preschool daughter strewn around the house…  If you come home to a clean house, please notice.  Please say something.  Acknowledge that it obviously took superhuman powers to get it to the state it is.  It sounds silly and needy.  Maybe I am.  But you know that “atta boy” you got from your boss at work that made your day?  Ya, I need that too. 


11) When we go to a restaurant, sometimes I need you to offer to sit next to ‘the kid.’  You know, the one that needs extra assistance.  The one that cries and grabs and throws and needs.  When I say, “No, it’s OK. I’ll sit next to The Child” I need you to gift me with the break anyway.  I’m not saying every time.  But we both know that going to restaurants with The Child is difficult. I’d so appreciate sharing that load with you. 


12) I need to go on a date.  With you.  I need to wear clothes that don’t smell like any type of child’s body fluid.  I need to order food for just me.  I need to eat it while it’s hot.  I need to look into your eyes.  I need to hold your hand.  I need adult conversation.  And while the topic of kids might creep into our conversation, let’s commit to keeping that to a minimum.  We spent so much of our dating years getting to know each other. Asking questions.  I was your student and you were mine.  A lot has happened since then.  You and I have changed and grown. Let’s learn about each other again.  Re-discover who we are today.  Let’s know and be known.   Let’s date. 




Thank you for hearing me.
You may not understand it all.  I don’t even know if I do.
This season is glorious and difficult.
And in all the uncertainty, the only thing I do know is there is NO ONE I’d rather do this with, than you.
You are exactly the “who” I need. 
The other stuff is just the “what” I’d love from you.  I ask you to just try. 
And if you’re willing, I’d love a list like this from you in return. 
This is a tough season for us both. I know you have needs you rarely express as well and I’d love a peek into those if you’d be willing to share. 
I love you and love that we’re living in what we’ll someday call “the good old days.” 
You have my heart forever.
<3 Me

10 Things you will regret....

from http://www.broccolicity.com/2013/08/10-choices-you-will-regret-in-10-years/

"One decision can develop into a habit, and the habits you form create your reality. Here are 10 choices that carry significant weight. Learn to be conscious of the decisions you make so you can do your best to live like a champion:”

1. Wearing a mask to impress others.
If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you.
The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing. Read The 4-Hour Workweek.

3. Keeping negative company.
Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4. Being selfish and egotistical.
A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

5. Avoiding change and growth.
If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success. See the book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business.

6. Giving up when the going gets tough.
There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.

7. Trying to micromanage every little thing.
Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots.

8. Settling for less than you deserve.
Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before. Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again. Don’t settle.

9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow.
The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t. Read Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture.

10. Being lazy and wishy-washy.
The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something. So stop daydreaming and start DOING. Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Take full responsibility for your life – take control. You are important and you are needed. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

We are All Different

The sermon this morning at Crossroads Fellowship was on the topic of toxic people.  It is ironic that it was on this topic because one time about 5 or 6 years ago when I was getting my oil changed I picked up a book in the mechanic shop titled "Dealing with Difficult People."  I was very intrigued by it and the mechanic even said I could keep it.  In the book it talked about different types of people that we come into contact with and somewhat told how to deal with them.  It talked about "the tank" and "the bulldozer" etc.  People who get angry more easily or some who like to dominate others and run people over.  

We all know other people are different from ourselves.  This is what can cause conflict, when we fail to understand the differences in the other people in our lives.  Everyone is not like us.  We are all unique.  But there are certain categories you can somewhat fit people into.  I like the personality illustration of the Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever and Beaver.  I am part lion and part otter.  I like to lead but I also just like to have fun often times too.  The Beaver is known for being organized; usually they are better with things than with people, and the Golden Retrievers are the most loyal personality type and make the best friends. 

In church he talked about four types of toxic people, or rather people acting in sin and what sin they tend to act out of more.  There is The Critic, The Downer, The Bully, and The Sponge.  The Critic would be the Phlegmatic person or the Beaver.  The Downer is most likely the melancholic or the golden retriever person.  The Bully is of course the lion, the leader, the type A choleric type person.  And the Sponge is sadly what I most identify with, The Otter.  :)

We all can have a bad side.  With The Critic, their bad side tends to be very critical of others.  This is the perfectionist.  The one who always has an idea on how something could be better.  It seems like they are always on the lookout for flaws in things or other people.  They like to fix things, even though others really don't appreciate their attempts to fix things.  I have traits of this because my mom is definitely The Critic.  In some ways I am grateful to her for this because it caused me to excel in most things I did.  Mediocre wasn't good enough.  She pushed me to do my best.  But sometimes, being critical hurts feelings, obviously.  The Critic is like the rabbit from Winnie the Pooh.  Our response to this person needs to be, "I will not give you the power to determine my worth."  God alone knows who we are because he created us.  We are the apple of his eye; He loves us no matter what we do.  So try to ignore the critical person in your life, when they are being critical, and listen to what God says about you instead.  You are his beloved child whom he loves unconditionally.  There is nothing you can do for him to love you more or less.  He loves you just as you are; I know this because "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  Amen?  Amen :) 

Next there is the Downer.  This is Eor from Winnie the Pooh.  Something is always wrong.  The sky is always cloudy, or falling lol.  Nothing has ever gone right and nothing will ever go right in their opinion.  They always look at the negative side of things and think that the worst is going to happen.  They are referred to as a wet blanket sometimes.  They call themselves a realist but the rest of us know they are a pessimist.  They have what would seem to be a chronic negative syndrome.  Our response to this person needs to be, "I will not give you the power to determine my mood."  If they want to always focus on the negative, don't let them make you do the same.  Most of the people that have come across my path fit this personality type.  I am always urging them to "think positively."  "Don't assume the worse will happen." etc.  Try to lift them up when they are down.  They need someone to lift them up.  :)  But don't let them bring you down in the process.  Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord always."  That's a command.  Always find something to be joyful about, because the fruit of the spirit is joy. :)

Thirdly, there is The Bully.  I am not sure what character in Winnie the Pooh this would be.  But it is the Lion, the A type choleric person.  They like to be in charge and control everything and everyone around them.  I can somewhat relate to this because I have always been very independent and I prefer being the leader over the follower.  But this person loves to be right and they love to be in control.  Sadly most of my main influences have been this personality type so that did not help.  My grandpa, dad and brother all fit into this category.  They like to tell people what to do.  They like to have their opinions heard and recognized.  But our response to these people needs to be, "I will firmly confront you if you attempt to intimidate me or control me."  Don't let them get away with trying to intimidate you, via sarcasm, a tone of voice, or even insulting you.  It is not love to let them continue to do this to you.  If you love them, you will confront them so that they cannot continue in the sin of potentially abusing you.  God says, "Be strong and courageous."  We are not to be weak willed and allow ourselves to be pushed around by people like this.  We are to be strong in the Lord and stand up for ourselves.  Paul says, "For God did not give you a spirit of timidity but of power and love and a sound mind."  We are not to be timid.  We are not to be a doormat and let people walk all over us.  God wants us to be firmly rooted and grounded, to be mature.  Don't let people boss you around.  You have only one boss, and his name is God.  Fear God, not people, because "fear of man proves to be a snare" but "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  Amen?  Amen :)

Lastly, there is The Sponge.  This is the emotionally needy person.  However they are also the most social person.  This would be the Tiggers from Winnie the Pooh.  They are always bounding with energy, always wanting to talk to someone.  This personality type can come off as annoying to the other three types but they are just people people.  They love to be around people.  I can relate most to this personality trait or type.  They need a lot more social interaction than most so they come off as The Sponge.  They may come off as clingy or needy.  They may give people the guilt trip if they don't want to hang out with them.  But our response to this person needs to be, "I will be lovingly honest without feeling guilty and set boundaries with you."  As in if you do not want to do something for this person or hang out with them say so and don't feel bad.  Everyone should be able to accept our no.  Everyone should be able to handle rejection without it totally crushing their spirit.  We all have our limits on what are willing to give other people.  Don't let this person make you feel guilty if you don't do as much as they want you to.  If you have reached your limit in giving, say so, rather than keep giving and then resent it.  That is much worse.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  It may be hard to say no to this person, but you can do it. :)

In the book "Dealing with Difficult People" he also talks about how some people can be The Tank, The Sniper, The Maybe Person, The Yes Person, The No Person, The Know It All, The Nothing Person.....

This article describes each of these in detail:

https://www1.cfnc.org/Home/Article.aspx?articleId=2olOzsjjUHXvsyKkZVf1DgXAP3DPAXXAP3DPAX&level=3XAP2FPAX6J7I3kztATGuYyXAP2BPAXDahIQXAP3DPAXXAP3DPAX



"1.The Tank [a.k.a the Bull; the Hostile-Aggressive]

This behavior is by far the highest on most people's unwanted list. When calm and cool, a Tank-like individual is task-oriented and wants to get good results. When stressed, however, the focus on people and their feelings is almost completely obscured by a concentration only on the task.
Tanks want to be in control, to get things done, and often become angry and irrational when they don't get what they're looking for. Some can be quite pushy and aggressive, while others are hostile with a quieter intensity. Regardless of variations, all Tank behavior is rooted in a strong sense of controlling what others do.

2.The Sniper [a.k.a. the Snitch; the Credit-Stealer; the Fox]

When acting normally, Snipers like attention, like people and love charming the crowd. When Snipers become stressed, however, they gain attention at other people's expense by using sarcasm.
They are also famous for verbal shoot-downs in public or sneaky, hurtful dealings behind your back. Your humiliation and passivity confirm to them how clever they really are. Some snipers have better intentions than others, but they all fire indirect or disguised shots at you from behind cover.

3.The Grenade [a.k.a. the Exploder; the Time Bomb]

Grenade behavior is typified by someone who is nice and eager to please but then just blows up from time to time without cause or warning. What's happening here? These nice people are just so eager to meet other people's needs that they forget about their own. When their well of friendliness is sucked dry, they explode with verbal attacks and fault finding.

4. The Know-It-All [a.k.a. the Show-Off Expert; the Bulldozer]

Virtually everyone has a Know-It-All in their life. When functioning normally, Know-It-Alls are smart, capable people and gems of productivity with good ideas and high standards of quality. They basically get things done and know exactly how to do it.
However, when under pressure, a Know-It-All's need to be right and perfect is at the expense of other members of the team. There is a stubbornness to accept alternative ideas, and they may even see them as a threat or a put-down to their own brilliant plans.

5. The Think-They-Know-It-All [a.k.a. the Pseudo-Experts; the Balloons]

Unlike Know-It-Alls, these pseudo-experts do not usually know what they're talking about. Often, they are only partially aware that they are speaking beyond their knowledge, but because they crave attention and praise, they eagerly offer opinions.
Since they tend to get involved in topics they're not knowledgeable enough to debate, their logic ends up being faulty or they set themselves up for embarrassment, which can cause bitterness or resentment.

6. The Yes Person [a.k.a. the Super-Agreeable]
It's hard to believe that such sweet and agreeable people could ever be difficult, but the frustration of others does emerge when it comes time to getting things done.
Yes behavior is rooted in a need to get along with everyone. Fear of disapproval or dejection causes them never to say no or challenge an idea. As such, they take on too much, inducing such stress so that, in the end, nothing ends up getting accomplished.

7. The Maybe Person [a.k.a the Indecisive; the Avoider]

Like the Yes Person, Maybes want desperately to be liked and avoid disapproval and conflict. However, instead of agreement, they avoid disapproval by avoiding decisions. They don't want to be blamed for bad decisions and don't want to make people mad by committing.
This behavior is best seen in people who beat around the bush a lot -- a Maybe's way of compromising between honesty and not hurting someone's feelings. Obviously, productivity is in jeopardy when decisions can't be made by Maybe people.

8. The Nothing Person [a.k.a. the Information-Horder; the Stone Wall; the Clam]

Like the Tank, people with the Nothing trait like to be in control, but they do this by avoidance rather than by aggression. There is usually very little verbal and non-verbal feedback and no volunteered discussion.
Timid Nothings keep ideas quiet to avoid conflict. Perfectionist Nothings figure no one would understand their genius plan, so they let the others do it their own way. Manipulative, controlling Nothings end up leading the discussion since they gather data and force you to get it out of them rather than offer it up.

9. The No Person a.k.a. the Negativist; the Pessimist; the Idea-Destroyer]

No behavior is a standard for perfectionists because of its focus on mistakes and flaws in the task at hand.
As the name suggests, discouragement, cynicism and disagreement are trademarks of No people. They can often bring discussions to a halt since no solution is good enough for them. They look for limitations rather than possibilities.

10. The Whiner [a.k.a. the Complainer; the Wallower]

You can recognize a Whiner in any person who has a strong need to be taken care of. When stressed -- usually with a difficult problem -- Whiners resort to pessimism and statements like "This is just too hard to learn." They want everything done right but when things don't turn out as expected, Whiners become hopeless, complain or want others to solve their worries for them." The article also then gives advice on how to deal with each of these people which is also very interesting.

In the sermon today he also said we need to accept our limitations; meaning we cannot change people, only God can, if he chooses to.  We need to accept our differences and understand that other people are different from ourselves and love them anyways.  We need to seek to understand each other as much as we can.  Don't assume that everyone is like you, because they are not. 

We are what we are.  God made us all how he did for a reason.  I love what Paul says about how all of us are different in 1 Cor. 12.  He says how we are all a part of the body of Christ, if we are saved.  And all the parts are needed.  "If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? ¹⁸ But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. ¹⁹ And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
²⁰ But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. ²¹ And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.....” ^{22  .}if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it."

Amen?  Amen.  What part in God's body of the church are you?  I think I am the mouth, since I love to write so much lol. :)  I know my best friend and mom are more like the ear because they are great listeners.  People who have a vision for the future would be like the eye of the body of Christ, being the church.  People who love to do things and serve with their hands are the hands.  People who love to travel to other countries and evangelize are the feet.  People who feel a lot of compassion for others are the heart.  People who love to study and learn more and have grown much in wisdom are the brain. 

There is a book called Sacred Pathways that describes how each of us find our own way to connect with and serve God.  We are all different and we all see God in different ways.  Just because someone sees or hears from God differently than us does not make us or them wrong, just different.   Some see God more in nature; that is me.  Some see God more in structured services; that is not me lol.  Some see God more in music and worship; that is also me.  Some see God more in meditation; that is sometimes me.  We all connect with God differently because we are all different. :)  Check out that book sometime.  It will help you understand yourself and others more. :)

May we seek to understand and accept that we are all different and see that we all have a part to play in the body of Christ.  We will all always be different, but we were created differently for a reason.  May we come to understand what that reason is for ourselves, and for those around us. :)  Instead of judging others who are different than you, be thankful that God made them able to do something that you cannot do.  Rejoice that they are different because they add more flavor to the body of Christ!  Amen :)  God bless!  Peace be with you :)

Like New

I was thinking about how the bumper on my car used to have all kinds of marks on it from accidents I have been in, but my brother one time covered over all of it with a little bottle of white pain and made my car look like new again! yay Nate!  

And that's what Jesus does with us isn't it? 

He covers over all the marks we get from accidents and chaos throughout our lives and makes us like new again. He makes us as white as snow again. 

I remember one time in a sermon by Mike Erre he was like, "When God looks at you He doesn't see you, He sees Jesus.  ISN'T. THAT. COOL?!" lol :)  Yes it is!  We praise you Jesus for how gracious you have been with us! :)

"He who has been forgiven much, loves much."

"Though your sins be as scarlet you shall be white as snow." 

"Behold the old has gone, the new has come." 

Amen? Amen God bless!

Born to be Free

First of all, if you are reading this, buy the book "Born to be Free" on amazon RIGHT NOW! lol

 

 You may say you don't have time to read, but you make time for what you want to make time for. Turn off the TV and read this book that will change your life for sure!

It is kind of like the book the Bondage Breaker, which is about breaking bonds in our lives that have been formed by Satan. This book gives more info on the subject though. 

 

The best chapter in here is one I just read about curses.  Did you know we can speak curses over ourselves with any negative self talk we say?  I always KNEW that was so powerful and so destructive. 

 

Other people can also curse us such as if a parents says "I wish you had never been born!"   They then just cursed their kid.  Literally :(  Sad but true. 

 

The good news is though that these curses can be broken through prayer, praise Jesus! 

 

If anyone has ever cursed you or you have inadvertently cursed yourself pray aloud, "By the power and blood of Jesus I declare that.....whatever was said....has no power over me anymore. I declare that that bond is broken. In the name of Jesus. And I declare that I can have the abundant life Jesus speaks of. Amen!" 

 

And it's very important you say that aloud! Very.

 

I have a huge praise report on this.  Almost no one has ever spoken a curse over me!  Praise God! :)  Thank you so much to my mom for being such a good mom and so kind and patient with me.  But even my dad, as mean as he was, never cursed me.  He cursed my brother many, many times which I know is why my brother has so many problems today.  "Life and death are in the power of the tongue."  But he never said anything really mean to me surprisingly. 

 

It's not true that sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words can never hurt me.  Words can not only hurt us, they can curse us. :(  wow.....crazy revelation here. lol :)

 

But for me no teacher or friend or almost anyone ever said a curse over me or anything really mean like "you'll never amount to anything etc."  Praise God!  God protected me from vindictive, evil people for the most part!

 

The only "curse" that may have been spoken over me was my brother said to me "One day you're just going to snap."  Given what happened to me.  I understand why he said it but regardless he was speaking a curse over me. 

 

So "by the power and blood of Jesus I rebuke that curse and declare that those words from him have no power over me anymore!!!!  amen!  In the name of Jesus I will NOT snap!"  woot! lol :)

 

That is what you can say aloud for any curse you may have had said over you and that you may have said to yourself.  If you have ever said to yourself that you will never do something, you cursed yourself.  If you ever said you were fat or ugly or not talented, you cursed yourself.  So be very careful what you say to yourself.  And BREAK THOSE BONDS right now!  In the name of Jesus.

 

And as a side note, yes I have been watching a lot of TBN lately lol  If you can tell. :)  Watch TBN!  There is some good stuff on there! :)

 

But, as a word of caution, don't watch anything on TBN from Benny Hinn.  He is a bit off I would say, ok, extremely off.  I do not think his power comes from God but rather from the evil one, being Satan.  You can disagree with me if you like, but something seems very wrong with all the things he does.  :(  I do not believe he actually heals people, I believe he hypnotizes them with black magic.  So when you are getting into this Holy Spirit stuff be careful of the crazy stuff. :(  Test the spirits.  Don't fall for everything.   

 

Jesus was all about peace and order.  Benny Hinn's ceremonies are anything but peaceful and orderly.  So be on your guard against false prophets and false teachers. 

 

But this book is legit, it's great, the guy is totally sound on his theology.  So check it out!  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

24 States

My husband and I might take a cruise to the Bahamas soon and road trip to Miami from here in TX woohoo! Then I would be able to say I've been to 24 states instead of 20 yay.....

I have been to Washington, Oregon, Cali, Hawaii, Alaska, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, South Dakota, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, now Texas, Florida, New Mexico....and I will be able to add to that list Arkansas finally (always have wanted to see that state), Lousiana, Mississippi, and Alabama yay.....

and I've been to 9 other countries so far :) Mexico, Taiwan, India, Thailand, Jamaica, the Grand Cayman Islands, Haiti, Korea, and Australia. woot!  Praise God :)

12 Steps

12 STEPS with BIBLICAL BACKUP... So I'm going to a Celebrate Recovery at my new church.  Mainly because of what happened with my dad when I was younger but also to recover from the recent death of a loved one.  I thought I would go through the steps on my blog here.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18 NIV) I, it would seem, am powerless over my anger.  For whatever reason I get angry quite easily.  I think it is anger about what my dad did that I still have not fully processed.  I know I have anger at men in general as a result of my abuse.  This comes out on most guys I meet sadly enough.  So I do admit I am powerless over my ability to control my anger.  I cannot just not get angry.  My compulsive behavior would be incessant worrying and paranoia that whoever I'm with will end up liking someone else.  Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. (Philippians 2:13 NIV) I know God is able to help me with my anger.  Step 3: We took a decision to turn our life and will over to the care of God. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1 NIV) I did that when I was 14 and do every day.  Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. (Lamentations 3:40 NIV) When I am honest with myself I know my anger is a problem and that it very much affects those closest to me.  Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16 NIV) I have admitted to my group that I struggle with getting angry easily and now I am on here to whoever you are reading this.  Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:10 NIV) Gladly. lol :) Step 7: We humbly ask Him to remove all our shortcomings. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NIV) God will you help me overcome this anger problem I have.  Will you help me to have more peace, to trust you and those I love, and to not worry so much?  Thank you. :) Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31 NIV) Oh this would be a very long list if I was honest.  The very first person I probably offended was my mom in getting angry about her divorcing my dad, but now I see obviously why she needed to.  I got angry at my brother several times.  I broke a lot of hearts of guys that I dated but I won't list all the names.  There were probably about 10 or so though that I very much regret hurting.  I know in any job I quit I hurt the boss if I didn't give two weeks notice.  I know I hurt my dad by not talking to him, even though he somewhat deserved it.  I know I've hurt my step dad over the years in not being more friendly to him.  I know I recently hurt my grandma when I scared her one night and left without saying where I was going.  I know I've scared my best friend a few times with my anger.  Sorry Ash. :(  I know I hurt a guy I loved deeply many, many times and I hope God can tell him in heaven how sorry I am.  I know I hurt the guy I am with now all the time, and I am sorry about that too.  I know I have been rude to family members of those I loved and I'm sorry about that also.  Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24 NIV) This step would be somewhat impossible since I don't have a way to get in touch with all these people.  But I should write my grandma a letter. :)  I have said sorry to my mom and step dad.  I don't know if I ever have to my brother, possibly.  Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12 NIV) I'm getting better about this. :) Step 11: We sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. (Colossians 3:16 NIV) I have been reading my Bible more lately and praying more, praise God. :) Step 12: Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we pledged to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our affairs. Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1 NIV) Hence me writing this.  I also gave my testimony last night at Celebrate Recovery which was very good.  And yes in general I need to remember to be more humble and point the finger at myself before I do at others.  I need to remove the plank from my own eye first for sure. :)